Grace evaporates shame
Shame is the internalisation of being ‘wrong’, different from guilt, as this says ‘I have done something wrong’ while shame is ‘something is wrong with me’. It stems from a sense of inadequacy that is internalised.
Some teach that to heal shame we need to step into humility. Even though there is truth in this, what is left out, as in many psychological teachings, is the power of grace.
Taking a few steps back to the beginning of creation. Adam and Eve’s first feelings after eating from the forbidden fruit where fear and shame. This led them to hide from God.
“Prior to their sin, Adam and Eve knew good from bad, right from wrong, but they had not internalized an evil inclination. So they could choose to do right and wrong, and were held responsible for their choices, but the urge to do evil did not come from within. This urge was represented by the serpent—the external tempter… When they ate of the Tree of Knowledge, the evil inclination became a part of them. No longer did they need an external tempter to incite them to sin—now, that tempter resided within their psyches.”
Shame is the contamination of the original design God created, innocence.
Shame is the result of evil.
Rather than shame coming from the result of listening to a serpent, it can come from childhood, from others in our adult life and even from ourselves. Believing shameful words and thoughts allows the enemy’s lies to come in. Satan is the one who shames. He loves when we are particularly ashamed of ourselves. Point is, Satan knows our weaknesses better than we do. He debilitated us by shaming whether we go along a temptation or not.
Shame is his reign.
He’ll tempt, seduce you, and then be the accuser.
If someone uses shame against you, it’s the enemy working through them to keep you in an unhealthy cycle that weakens your mind, distorts your worth, and eventually, infests your body.
Lies that come from shame:
I am a bad person
I am not good enough
I'm worthless
I'm a fool
I deserve the shame
It is important to understand that shame can come as a result of our own sin, or as consequence of someone else’s sin. Even Jesus, who had no sin, he too knew shame— the shame of the cross.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2
Unlike with guilt, which can be beneficial and lead to change, shame can keep us trapped in our past or in things we cannot change. As Christians, we do not have to live in shame. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, we are new creations in Christ. We do not have to carry shame with us.
Christ bore shame on Him on the cross… It's another aspect of the cross that will help us comprehend the fullness of Jesus' sacrifice. God gave His begotten Son to die on the cross as grace and mercy for the human race.
God does not hold you in shame, ever. God extended His favor to us. Grace is what saves us (Ephesians 2:8). Grace is the essence of the gospel (Acts 20:24). Grace gives us victory over sin (James 4:6). Grace gives us “eternal encouragement and good hope” (2 Thessalonians 2:16). Even when someone else is responsible for bringing you shame, the scriptures urge us not to be ashamed but to glorify God instead (1 Peter 4:16).
Shame make you feel distant from God, but He still loves you. He wants to help you, give Him your shame. This too has been paid for on the cross. His mercy and grace envelop every sin and all shame! Confess, repent, He is faithful and abounding in love. Let Him lift your burdens.
Elements of grace
Grace is a gift, it means ‘nothing is owned in return’.
There is no cost to the person who receives a gift. It does cost the person who gave it… God have his Only Son and Jesus gave His life for us to receive this gift.
Once a gift has been given, ownership of the gift has transferred and it is now ours to keep.
Bible teaches that grace is completely unmerited. Because nothing you could possibly do would/will ever merit it. The gift and the act of giving have nothing at all to do with our merit or innate quality (Romans 4:4; 11:5–6; 2 Timothy 1:9–10).
Grace delivers us from evil.
Evil is the absence of God.
Shame is the absence, and as a result, avoidance, of God through believing we can be judged or criticised by ourselves or others. Truly, we can only be judged by God. Everything else is noise that gets in between our connection to Him by thinking we need to do more to get away from where we are and what we feel.
You might as well hide behind a tree and cover yourself with fig trees and we are back at the Garden of Eden shameful and not wanting God to witness us in that space, when He is the Only Way to feel grace that will shift shame.
Shame takes a lot of mental energy. It also makes spending time with God seem like a chore, something I do because I should, not because I’m legitimately thirsty. Shame is incredibly corrosive.
In Scripture
Romans 8:1
“There is, therefore, now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”
Romans 10:11
“For the Scripture says, ‘Whoever believes in Him will not be put to shame.’”
2 Corinthians 7:10
“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
Colossians 2:14
“…having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”
Let’s Pray
“I come before you Lord, with all the things that make me feel shameful, weak, vulnerable. You know everything about me. You’ve seen me embarrassed, running breathlessly for a place to hide; you were with me when I was afraid. You know exactly what makes me feel insecure and fragile. And yet, you love me unconditionally. You look beyond all that fills me with shame and see me for the precious, unique person you created, a daughter/son of God.
Help me to embrace my wounds and expose them to your loving healing touch. Fill me with your divine overflowing grace. Thank you for sending your Son Jesus to be my saviour and my great healer. You truly love me just as I am and I know you want the best for me. Today I lay down my shame at the foot of the cross, where Jesus called out ‘It is finished’. I trust you will lift my weary soul and give me new life in Christ. In you and only you I find my rest, Lord God. Praise and glory always to you Father. In the name of Jesus. Amen”